recentchristian

I’m a single Christian – there are a lot of blessings that go along with being single – I have a good amount of time on my hands to read the Bible, listen to sermons online, watch Christian DVD’s and also dive into other Christian books.

I’ve been single for a number of years and finding a “match” has been a challenge for me.  There aren’t a lot of single men out there … there weren’t before I became a Christian.  Now that I am a Christian, that pool has diminished significantly.  I didn’t know the pool was going to become smaller until I read this passage in 2Corinthians 6:14-15:

New International Version:  “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

King James Bible:  “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

When I read that passage, I was discouraged.  My heart told me the passage meant Christians, whether new or mature, shouldn’t have romantic relationships with a non-believers.  It seems very black and white to me – they spell it out plain and simple.  I was discouraged because I’m single (I’ve dated a lot in the past).  Following these verses would eliminate most of the eligible male population – well, I didn’t want anything to do with that (yes, I am human – trying to twist God’s word just enough to suit my needs).

I asked a Pastor if there was any wiggle-room.  He told me “there might be” and gave me a copy of a page from a commentary and said we should follow up with a conversation (we never had that conversation).  I asked another Pastor and he told me that “no, there isn’t any wiggle-room.”  I was hoping he would say that there was wiggle-room but, at the same time, I knew in my heart that there wasn’t any.

My head (and my body) really wanted to find wiggle room.  I used to date a non-believer and sex was great and, after I became a Christian, he agreed to keep dating and not have sex.  I ultimately ended it because my heart won.  My heart told me there was no wiggle room.  I felt like I was looking away from God and what I knew he wanted.  It was hard (Satan is so sneaky!) – I didn’t think I could truly call myself a follower if I continued to do things that I know God wouldn’t be happy with or things that wouldn’t bring God glory.

That passage has been interpreted by some to mean don’t yolk, but only in a business sense.  My thought is that if I wouldn’t yolk/go into partnership with someone in business, why would I enter a romantic relationship and then possibly share a bed with someone (if you get married) and spend the rest of your life with that person?

I believe that the wiggle-room is something that humans created … our egos can go unchecked and we can think that we are deserving of a lot and we can find ways around things to make them more suitable for us.  It may be a view that was created to make Christianity more appealing or something entirely different.

Yes, I get it … being a Christian is not easy … things that God asks of us are difficult … but … the reward … eternity in his kingdom … well, following him, no matter how difficult, seems worth it.  Just have to get past the instant gratification thing that we have all come to know so well.

I also had another view expressed to me – the person saying that a new Christian shouldn’t but it’s okay for someone who has grown in their faith.  The presupposition here is that someone who has grown in their faith wouldn’t be easily swayed.  Maybe that view thinks that Satan doesn’t lure someone who has grown in their faith (I don’t believe that statement to be true).

As far as I can figure out (again, I’m relatively new), God is to be put as our number one.  God made us.  He can do with us whatever he so chooses.  He can make requests on us that we may not like and that we may want to fight against.

Putting God as number one means you’re going to be praying and having a relationship with God.  Prayer is more powerful in groups (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Matthew 18:15–20; 2 Corinthians 1:24; James 5:14–16 … ) and if you can’t pray with who you are spending your life with (maybe it makes them uncomfortable for you to pray infront of them – so you don’t), then are you really giving God all the glory and honor he deserves or are you giving that to your non-believing partner by honoring their wishes rather than God’s wishes?

Apart from that, is it healthy to go into a relationship with a non-believer, knowing that they will spend an eternity in place lacking any good?  Thinking of that would break my heart on a daily basis.

My heart told me that God is telling Christians to only date Christians and that there is no wiggle-room and I’m learning to be happy knowing that when I follow, God smiles.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  My heart says that the passage says that any Christian (whether a new believer or someone that is more mature in their faith) should not enter a romantic relationship with a non-Christian.  What does your heart say?