recentchristian

It’s a book that’s really hitting home with me.  As much as I thoroughly loved reading John, Matthew is shaking the ground that I stand on.  I don’t know if it’s hitting that much harder because I’m learning more and growing as a Christian, if it’s hitting close to things going on in my life, or if it’s just one of those books that really hits hard.

This is the most recent thing in Matthew that hit me hard:

Matthew 13:11-12: “He (Jesus) replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

I was reading it on the bus and had to stop.  I read it at home and cried.  The truth of it hurt so much and shook me to the core of my being.

I’ve been texting/emailing with a non-Christian man (“Gil”) that I used to date and he just isn’t seeing what is revealed in the Bible (I believe he just plain doesn’t want to).  He went to a Christian school and was brought up Christian and he told me a number of months ago that he just wasn’t happy as a Christian so never did accept Jesus in his life.  We had a (text) conversation and he really isn’t interested in knowing the truth – maybe it’s too much of a threat.  I get it – Christianity will change your life –when we do become obedient Christians, we want to live holier lives – this means huge life changes.  Since he grew up Christian, he’s well aware of the life changes that being an obedient Christian requires.  I saw the truth of Matthew 13:11-12 being played out right before my eyes.  In Gil’s past, he did believe and then he turned away and now, he pokes at the Bible – pointing out what he sees are holes, with an understanding that isn’t based on Biblical truths.  It saddens me and it’s heartbreaking to see God at work taking away the truth he had revealed to Gil.

I felt like stomping my feet on the ground in a private room at home.  Yes, I reacted/am reacting like a spoiled child of God.  My head gets the doctrine of election.  My heart is having trouble making sense of it and being well with it.  In my prayer/conversation with God this morning, I pleaded that he would soften hearts of everyone to hear so that everyone would go to heaven and avoid the burning inferno of hell.  My head knows it just isn’t this way though.

So, I continue to work (very emotionally) through the doctrine of election.  I’m going to have another look at Piper’s Tulip DVD, specifically the election bit.

Again, Jill has been extremely helpful.  Last night she sent a text, quoting Ephesians 2:10:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Jill also offered some great wisdom in telling me that I don’t have to be the one to share the word with Gil.  Now I pray that Gil’s family share it with him and that his children don’t take on Gil’s view.  I’ll always pray that hearts everywhere be softened.