recentchristian

I used to live a life for myself – like, closing in on 100% for myself but have noticed that my life has been changing to be more outward, both vertically and horizontally, focused – and living more for Christ than for myself.

When I grew up, I was an extreme introvert.  Most of my time was spent in my bedroom in a world that I had created by myself for myself.  Even as a child, the place that provided me the most comfort was in my room, with the door shut (and later, shut and chain-locked).  I didn’t feel really comfortable in the house I grew up in, but felt great comfort and safety in my room. 

Yes, you read that right – I didn’t feel really comfortable in the house I grew up in.  Me using the word “house” rather than “home” is quite telling.  I would wait until I was home alone before sitting and teaching myself piano or putting on a record and singing – for myself and by myself.

Being an introvert to such a great degree adds a layer to living a conscious Christian life.  We all have our “stuff” that we’re working through and being an “introvert” is part of my “stuff”.

Growing up, I always wondered which drunk my father would be on any given day … would I be faced with the drunk passed out in his chair and have to be careful to not wake him … or the drunk that needed a fix so badly that he was willing to drink anything with alcohol content?  I’m guessing my way of dealing with this was to become more inwardly-focused. 

Being inwardly-focused just plain doesn’t jive well with living an intentionally Christian life.

Being inwardly-focused meant not paying much attention to the world around me and only paying attention to those in my circle.

Since turning to Christ, I noticed my prayers changing a lot more over the years, starting off by taking more of an interest in other people I knew.  That evolved into watching the news with the intention of seeing who I could pray for; praying through Operation World (there’s an Operation World book and app); and subscribing to a few different mailing lists to see who around the world I could pray for.  Over the past few years, I’ve joined a few Reddit Subreddits to find people to pray for – gosh, I really do love praying for others – for me, the act of prayer really does make me light up and feel so much more closer to God.

I’m in no way saying that I’m “there”  (golly, there’s a heck of a lot more sanctification to happen) but the work has started and my heart stance has definitely changed towards others.

Being an introvert while at church, I’m guessing it will always be a conscious effort to approach others to engage in conversation.  It’s a little bit easier to engage when my Agenda of talking with others is to learn how to pray for them.

Since I’ve started living for Christ and not myself, the world has gotten a lot bigger and much more colourful!  It’s truly amazing what a shift from an inward to an outward focus can do.

As Sinclair B. Ferguson says in the YouTube video below: “Sanctification – being a saint – is not only something that’s true of some Christians, but true of all Christians because sanctification is simply that our life is now reserved for the Lord. In other words, it means belonging to the Lord Jesus, living with Him and for Him.  And so at the end of the day, since we become like those with whom we live, it means becoming like the Lord Jesus.”