recentchristian

The sermon on January 11, 2015 hit my heart hard and I felt it through to the core of my being.

Pastor John told the congregation that “Christianity is an open eyed death to self-interest” and to “deny yourself so others can be served.“  He talked about “habitual humility” and “being a servant to all by being last,” telling us to “abandon autonomy/abandon self-will” and that our first allegiance is to Jesus.  The heart of all of this is that we aren’t our own – our lives aren’t our own to live.  Plain and simple – seems pretty black and white and oh, so true,  to me.  I should say off the top that the sermon was also encouraging and I’m focusing on only one small part of it.

A Christian life isn’t owned by a Christian – it is owned by God.  My life isn’t mine to do with according to my will.  I am learning to live according to God’s will, his wishes, his desires, learning to live to bring God glory.  This is huge!!!!

I told Pastor John after the sermon that I’m glad I didn’t hear this sermon right after becoming a Christian (or, for that matter, before becoming a Christian) – I would have thought it wasn’t what I signed up for.  Beyond a doubt, this was/is God’s grace at work – that I went to another church for just shy of a year before switching churches and hearing this sermon.  Over that first year, I saw a lot of God’s mercy and grace at work in my life and in the lives around me and I was able to develop a relationship with Trin (my loving name for Trinity).  If I heard that sermon prior to having the mercy/grace and relationship experiences with Trin, my head may have gotten in the way and said “forget it.”  So, it’s all in God’s perfect timing that I didn’t hear this sermon and really get the full extent of it until now.

I am now praying for wisdom on how this relationship (knowing full well that God owns me) works with God.  Yes, he lays it all out in the Bible.  What about things that aren’t clear in the Bible though?  What about life choices?  It’s hard when there isn’t absolutely clear instruction (lol – just if I wasn’t so detail-oriented, it would be easier – I’ve called myself “anal” for a number of years).

I get that I should go with the choice that will bring glory to God – what if I believe both choices will do that equally though?  Then what?  Some choices are no-brainers – if I think making a choice will take me further from God, that choice shouldn’t be made.  The question that I’ve been using lately is “will doing this bring me closer to God or take me farther away from God?”

What if I get two job offers and both of them seem equal?.  How do I know which one God would want me to accept?  I’ll pray and listen for a response.  How do I know that I haven’t weighted that response through my own filters?  I’m not entirely sure – I suspect humans will always weight the response no matter how hard we try not to.  It’s going to be a long journey.  It takes giving up self to an entirely new level.